When your actual Grandpa asks why you didn’t sit on the mall Santa’s lap, Zoey recommends the "Smile and Redirect." Say: "I’m saving myself for the real Santa, Grandpa. The one who delivers after midnight." Your grandpa will be confused. Your cousins will high-five you.
For decades, the cultural script for the holidays has been painfully predictable. You go home, you see the family, you eat the casserole, and you listen to your grandpa tell the same story about the blizzard of ’78. In the world of entertainment and lifestyle content, the "Holiday Season" was strictly the domain of the wholesome, the vanilla, and the platonic.
If you haven’t caught the viral wave sweeping across TikTok, Instagram Reels, and Gen Z group chats, you are likely still operating under the assumption that Santa is a grandpa. Zoey Zimmer, a rising digital creator and lifestyle commentator, is here to shatter that illusion with two of the most provocative, hilarious, and surprisingly relatable mantras of the year: and "Santa Is Cuffing Season." The Inciting Incident: Why "Not My Grandpa" Went Viral It started as a throwaway line in a skit about awkward family holiday dinners. In the video, Zoey is seated next to a man in a red sweater with a white beard—classic Santa archetype. The family whispers, "Go sit on Santa’s lap." Zoey turns to the camera, deadpan, and says, "Not my grandpa. We don’t claim him." Not My Grandpa - Zoey Zimmer - Santa Cock Is Cu...
By [Lifestyle Contributor]
Zoey sums it up best in her pinned video, where she stands in front of a fireplace, a glass of mulled wine in one hand and a pair of fuzzy red handcuffs in the other. "Look," she says, leaning into the camera. "I love my grandpa. I’ll see him on the 24th. But on the 25th? Santa is coming down my chimney, and he’s not bringing socks. He’s bringing a prenup. That’s the lifestyle." This winter, don’t just survive the holidays. Cuff them. Follow Zoey Zimmer on all platforms for more lifestyle satire, holiday chaos, and the ongoing saga of "What does Santa actually look like when the beard comes off?" When your actual Grandpa asks why you didn’t
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Why? Because Zoey tapped into a specific, unspoken anxiety of the modern holiday season: the de-sanctification of the Santa figure. For older generations, Santa is a deity of joy. For Zoey Zimmer’s audience (20-somethings navigating life, dating apps, and student debt), Santa is a stranger who breaks into your house. For decades, the cultural script for the holidays
Take the "grandpa" out of your aesthetic. Toss the needlepoint stockings. Burn the ceramic gnomes. Zoey’s lifestyle line (launching this November) features "Cuffing Season" ornaments: Santa handcuffs, a man in a red suit holding a martini, and a Christmas tree shaped like a bicep. "You can honor the vibe without honoring the blood relation," she says.