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Traditional self-help says, "Forgive them; let go of the anger." The Groovy Girl says, "Actually, let’s channel that anger into a killer bass line." Part 2: The Psychology of Spite (A Self-Hack You Weren't Expecting) Spite gets a bad reputation. In psychology, spite is defined as the desire to harm another person, even at a cost to yourself. That definition is narrow and negative. But there is a sub-category: Righteous Spite . The "I'll Show Them" Neurochemistry When you are motivated by spite, your brain releases dopamine not from the reward itself, but from the defiance . You are proving a hypothetical "them" wrong (your ex, your parents, the high school bully). groobygirls+spite+i+love+rock+and+roll+sh+work

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Joan Jett is now 65 years old. She never stopped playing. She wasn't the nicest girl in the room. She was the most determined. She used spite like a scalpel and rock and roll like a stretcher. That definition is narrow and negative

Joan Jett was doing the hard labor of the music industry. The "Groovy Girl" working the night shift at a bar or a factory in 1981 wasn't doing yoga at 5 AM. She was cleaning ashtrays. Her "self-help" was the three minutes of screaming the chorus in the car ride home.

Here is the truth: You don't have to be nice to be good. You don't have to let go of your rage; you just have to plug it into a guitar amp.

In 1976, a struggling female musician was told rock and roll was a "man's game." She recorded "I Love Rock and Roll" not because she was happy, but because she was spiteful . Joan Jett was rejected by 23 record labels. Every single "no" was a log on the fire.